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It’s been a while

20 Jan 2010 by Helen

So it has been a really long while since I ventured into this place…taking the time to write my thoughts, express my feelings, and allow you in.  So for the 1 or 2 people that actually still follow me…here it goes.

Wow…this is harder than I thought…It’s been so long, I don’t know where to start.  So I guess I’ll start with what brought me here tonight…an uncomfortable place, a weird feeling, oddly intriguing, somewhat confusing place.  That’s where I’ve been today!

I didn’t have much to say.  I didn’t really want to be around people (which is a big deal for me).  I couldn’t seem to figure out which end was up, yet was still very productive.  As I wrestled within myself to understand what was going on, tried labeling it “feeling depressed” or “in a funk” but none of that seemed to fit.

What I have begin to realize is that God is doing something, preparing something, stirring something that I can’t quiet figure out yet, but can sense something in my spirit.  Is it something he is working out of me?  Something he is preparing me for?  Something exciting, something difficult, something I’ll love, something I’ll hate? 

The reality is, I don’t fully understand what’s happening, but I know whatever it is, God is working it out for my good and I can’t wait to see what the end result will be.

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The Final Word

16 Aug 2009 by Helen

Two scriptures that I hold on to when I don’t know what else to hold on to…

Romans 11:29 -  God’s gifts and God’s call are under full warranty—never canceled, never rescinded. (Message Bible)

Jeremiah 29:11 – I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. (Message Bible)

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When things aren’t easy…

14 Aug 2009 by Helen

This has been quit a week.  Here are some things I have been reminded of in the midst of all that has happened in the last 7 days.

  • Satan is real and really doesn’t like us.
  • God is real and really, really loves us.
  • I have an incredible, yet imperfect family
  • I have an incredibly perfect and gracious God
  • God’s plans for me are bigger than my current abilities
  • My God is bigger than my inabilities
  • People will fail, God NEVER does
  • Difficult situations reveal our true character
  • Difficult situations provide opportunities for God to show off.

God never promised life would be easy.  We are imperfect people bought with the blood of a perfect savior.  I have walked out of this week stronger, more determined, and focused on what this life is all about.  It has nothing to do with my failures, other’s failures, or even our successes.  It has everything to do with the reality that we live in a fallen world in need of a Savior and I know how to introduce them to Him.

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Category: Family, God, Ministry  Tags: , ,  One Comment

Last day of summer vacation!

19 Aug 2008 by Helen

So what am I thinking at 10:07 p.m. on the last night of my summer vacation?

  • This could possibly be the last time I see 10:07 p.m. on a Monday night for a while.
  • Where did 2 entire months go?
  • NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m trying to figure out a way to make school a four day work week…surely there has got to be reason enough with gas prices!

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Wow! What did God do at your church today?

27 Jul 2008 by Helen

Wow!  What to can I say.  Oh wait, I know I just embraced the ride with my hands up!  If you don’t understand, read this.  I mean today I got it!  When we came out on stage my heart was racing, hands sweating, not for the fear of messing up but because I had an expectancy of an encounter with my God.  For weeks  I have been wrestling with God sorta like my friend Lori.  Sleep has been a struggle (and I LOVE to sleep), church has been a struggle (not cause good things weren’t happening but because God was pressing me), life has been a struggle but today before I ever got there, I said “I trust you”…little did I know what Pastor Bryan would be speaking on and what it would mean….

God showed up in a big way.  We sang this song by U2 this morning at the beginning of the service and ended with the same song.  Apparently U2 sings this song at the end of every concert.  I don’t know, that’s just what I heard.  All we were really told as a worship team was that it was going to be ministry time and the goal was to sing the chorus and gradually fade out.  The band would leave, the singers would fade out and one by one we’d leave hoping the congregation would keep singing.  It was one of those things I didn’t quit get at the time but thought it was cool so why not, right?  WOW, I mean WOW God showed up and it was an encounter with the creator that didn’t need anything to be added to, it just was!  Thanks Pastor B for being sensitive to the voice of the Lord and for stepping out of the box.

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Molded to shatter molds

22 Jul 2008 by Helen

Had an incredible worship time today while the kids visited Grandma….turned on this song and just got still.  When I sat down to type on my blog…I decided I wanted to change things up.  I thought about the name and what it stood for and I realized that was my problem.  Recently I have felt like the spotlight has been shining bright on every single insecurity I have and well quit honestly it sucks! 

Much of my life has been spent allowing others opinions or my perception of their opinions to affect  God’s molding process.   I cared more about what I thought others thought of me than I cared about who He said I was.  Now I would never really admit that and  I have moments of darn right stubbornness that supersedes others opinions (like marrying my husband) but when it comes right down to it, I really do care what people think. It  really shouldn’t matter to me what you think because what you think of me is based off the mold that you live in – the mold that has been created for you by your life experiences and God’s molding process in your life.    He hand crafts each one of us into an amazing piece of his eternal puzzle, none of which look, act, or sound the same because each piece is created to fit a specific part of the big picture.

My whole life I have struggled with this.  I should have expected this since my mother had a prophetic word spoken over her before I was born that I would be different.  From my taste in clothes, to the way I decorate my house and even the man I married, my family  would definately say I’m different.  I grew up & now live in the country, but if it was up to me, I’d live in the heart of New York City.  The truth is if I wasn’t afraid of what people would think I’d probably look and act even more different (like getting that rocker hair cut and color I suggested to my husband who quickly expressed his opinion). 

All of that said,  today I got at least a little of what God was telling me.  I AM DIFFERENT and so are you!  Nothing about who my family is or who He is making me to be is like who you are no matter who is reading this.  We may have things in common but we are still different and if I can learn to remember that, then when I start thinking those nagging thoughts that I’ve heard my whole life – “I’m not as good at that as she is”, “I can’t do this”, ” What will people think”…I can embrace the fact that it I wasn’t made to fit in your mold!

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Category: God, Uncategorized  Tags: ,  5 Comments

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