Tag-Archive for » God’s molding process «

It’s been a while

So it has been a really long while since I ventured into this place…taking the time to write my thoughts, express my feelings, and allow you in.  So for the 1 or 2 people that actually still follow me…here it goes.

Wow…this is harder than I thought…It’s been so long, I don’t know where to start.  So I guess I’ll start with what brought me here tonight…an uncomfortable place, a weird feeling, oddly intriguing, somewhat confusing place.  That’s where I’ve been today!

I didn’t have much to say.  I didn’t really want to be around people (which is a big deal for me).  I couldn’t seem to figure out which end was up, yet was still very productive.  As I wrestled within myself to understand what was going on, tried labeling it “feeling depressed” or “in a funk” but none of that seemed to fit.

What I have begin to realize is that God is doing something, preparing something, stirring something that I can’t quiet figure out yet, but can sense something in my spirit.  Is it something he is working out of me?  Something he is preparing me for?  Something exciting, something difficult, something I’ll love, something I’ll hate? 

The reality is, I don’t fully understand what’s happening, but I know whatever it is, God is working it out for my good and I can’t wait to see what the end result will be.

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Molded to shatter molds

Had an incredible worship time today while the kids visited Grandma….turned on this song and just got still.  When I sat down to type on my blog…I decided I wanted to change things up.  I thought about the name and what it stood for and I realized that was my problem.  Recently I have felt like the spotlight has been shining bright on every single insecurity I have and well quit honestly it sucks! 

Much of my life has been spent allowing others opinions or my perception of their opinions to affect  God’s molding process.   I cared more about what I thought others thought of me than I cared about who He said I was.  Now I would never really admit that and  I have moments of darn right stubbornness that supersedes others opinions (like marrying my husband) but when it comes right down to it, I really do care what people think. It  really shouldn’t matter to me what you think because what you think of me is based off the mold that you live in – the mold that has been created for you by your life experiences and God’s molding process in your life.    He hand crafts each one of us into an amazing piece of his eternal puzzle, none of which look, act, or sound the same because each piece is created to fit a specific part of the big picture.

My whole life I have struggled with this.  I should have expected this since my mother had a prophetic word spoken over her before I was born that I would be different.  From my taste in clothes, to the way I decorate my house and even the man I married, my family  would definately say I’m different.  I grew up & now live in the country, but if it was up to me, I’d live in the heart of New York City.  The truth is if I wasn’t afraid of what people would think I’d probably look and act even more different (like getting that rocker hair cut and color I suggested to my husband who quickly expressed his opinion). 

All of that said,  today I got at least a little of what God was telling me.  I AM DIFFERENT and so are you!  Nothing about who my family is or who He is making me to be is like who you are no matter who is reading this.  We may have things in common but we are still different and if I can learn to remember that, then when I start thinking those nagging thoughts that I’ve heard my whole life – “I’m not as good at that as she is”, “I can’t do this”, ” What will people think”…I can embrace the fact that it I wasn’t made to fit in your mold!

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