Control Freak?
Fear, insecurity, control, pride…can you see a connection? I can! I have stated before that insecurity has been something I have battled me whole life. Why am I INSECURE? Because I am afraid of something – FEAR! I am afraid I look stupid, can’t do this as good as someone else, someone might talk about me, might not like me, might think I’ crazy. I’m afraid I might hurt myself or worse yet someone else might hurt me, I might fail…you get the picture. Insecurity is just a response to our fears.
So how do we mask our insecurities – control! Now if that is a stretch for you come to my classroom in the fall – even a 4 year old gets this. Children who feel insecure react and they react by controlling whatever they can control. For some children it is about food…their little lives are falling apart around them, and they stop eating…why? Because that is something they can control. No matter how big or little you are…you can not make someone eat short of putting in a feeding tube and therefore that is something a 4 year old can control.
The truth is our insecurities push us to find a way to control the things that we are secure about to avoid the issue of having to deal with our insecure issues. Here’s an easy example to share that doesn’t make me break out into a sweat too bad. I get really nervous and insecure dealing with people. It doesn’t matter what it is…for the longest time after we were married I’d have Johnny call to order pizza because I got so nervous talking. How do I control that situation? I write, I blog, I email. When there is something I need to deal with good, bad, or otherwise I put it out there in a way that makes it less threatening to me…more CONTROLLED. See when I talk to people, I can’t control their reactions. The truth is I can’t control anything about them, but when I email, write, blog, I control it all. It is a one way conversation that keeps me safe. Then if the response I get is hurtful, offensive, or even nice…I still get to control how and when I receive it. The conversation is on my terms not theirs…unless they push me out of my comfort zone and actually call me. 
So how does pride have anything to do with insecurity? An insecure person creates an atmosphere of control to avoid their insecurities and that atmosphere creates an open door for pride. I’m not doing that…I’ll look (or might look) stupid! Ever said that? Pride!!!!!!! The truth is you are just insecure in who you are or you wouldn’t care if you looked stupid. If you didn’t care how you looked you wouldn’t need to control the situation and if you didn’t need to be in control…well, pride wouldn’t really have a place to grow! That’s just my thoughts…feel free to share yours since I get to CONTROL when and if I read your thoughts and how I respond to those thoughts on my own terms since very few of you actually have my phone number and well even if you call – I control whether I answer!
