So today I started back to school and I was tired. I couldn’t go to sleep last night cause I was used to staying up late, therefore morning came way to early today. I used to get really excited about the beginning of school. Then I went a few years where I just dreaded it. Today was different. I wasn’t excited, but I didn’t dread it…I just went. It was a long, but productive day. Got home and had a huge issue to deal with as soon as I walked in the door….I handled the situation and tried to keep a good attitude. I did OK.
Then about that time the door bell rang. It was the FedEx man (or woman as the case may be). I have to confess I didn’t really even pay attention to the person that handed me the package. I really just wanted to sign for it, come in and sit down. And as I’m finishing my signature the woman says “Do you remember me?” I thought she looked familiar but had not a clue why. Turns out she was the grandmother of a child I had taught 3 years ago. The year I had her granddaughter was the worst year of my teaching career. I had issues with my TA, issues with my administration and if I’m honest I felt like I was in survival mode. I cried everyday on the way to work and prayed that I could get through the day begging God to open another door. I loved those kids though, they were precious, but felt like I did them an injustice because I couldn’t do and be all I wanted to for them. I ended up getting another job in February of that year and left.
Today when I saw this grandmother she thanked me over and over again for what I taught her granddaughter. She told me that after I left things really feel apart but that she really appreciated all I did for her granddaughter and that the kids that I had that year had all done really well the following year and that she had told their teacher that it was because of me. What I should have said was that it had to be God because I was so stressed out and felt so overwhelmed that year I’m surprised I taught them anything, but I didn’t. I said thank you, ask her how her granddaughter was doing and told her to tell her hey for me. I came in closed the door and just stood there for a minute. Wow! God is sooo good. I needed that today. I needed to be reminded why God has me where He does and more than that I needed to realize that even when I’m at my worst, He can still use me. When I am weak, He is strong. It’s not about me, it’s about Him.
That year was very difficult for me and teaching has not been the same for me since I left. I have struggled with why I feel very detached from what I do and never did before, why though I love me kids each year it just hadn’t been the same. Today God used this grandmother to remind me of the joy and the amazing opportunity I have to impact kids and their families that may never grace the doors of a church building – and I get to do it everyday for 180 days. I think I’m excited now!
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